To Earthward
by Sugargirl5
Summary: Edward and Bella's story: the key scenes from Edward's POV. Romance, angst, fluff...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This first "chapter" is a poem by Robert Frost, which I thought was very fitting for the Edward and Bella's relationship. Every following chapter will begin with a quote or piece of a poem by Robert Frost and will contain a scene from Edward's perspective, some were in the books, some weren't. Some chapters will be scenes I had already written from his perspective, but that were scattered all around in my other stories, so I'll update them again here. Mostly it will be new chapters, though.**

**For the first time, I will have an updating schedule: I will update every Saturday from now on, but because this isn't a real chapter, the next one will be posted right after this one. The one after that is not a new one and I'll post it now too, because that's the first romantic one :).**

**Thanks for checking out my story and… enjoy!**

**Disclaimer for this fanfic: I own nothing, all belongs to the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**To Earthward  
**

Love at the lips was touch  
As sweet as I could bear;  
And once that seemed too much;  
I lived on air

That crossed me from sweet things,  
The flow of – was it musk  
From hidden grapevine springs  
Down hill at dusk?

I had the swirl and ache  
From sprays of honeysuckle  
That when they're gathered shake  
Dew on the knuckle.

I craved strong sweets, but those  
Seemed strong when I was young;  
The petal of the rose  
It was that stung.

Now no joy but lacks salt  
That is not dashed with pain  
And weariness and fault;  
I crave the stain

Of tears, the aftermark  
Of almost too much love,  
The sweet of bitter bark  
And burning clove.

When stiff and sore and scarred  
I take away my hand  
From leaning on it hard  
In grass and sand,

The hurt is not enough:  
I long for weight and strength  
To feel the earth as rough  
To all my length.

_Robert Frost_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, the first real chapter is here! I'm dying to know what you think about it, so please leave a review, any critique is welcome.**

**This is set during Twilight and it's the scene where Edward sees Bella for the first time. It's not that long because Stephenie covered these scenes in Midnight Sun too. I just tried to bring something new, something of myself to the table here. I hope you'll enjoy it! But be aware, this is not the Edward we are used to…**

**And my life began**

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.  
_Robert Frost_

Mind numbingly dull.

That were the only words that came to me when I was in school or when I even thought of school. The lessons were so boring I could quite literally die right there in the seat and I wouldn't even care. And then the moronic, hormonal thoughts of the dim-witted pupils that were enrolled in Forks High School…

The bright side was that teachers hardly ever called on me, they knew I'd have the answer right anyway. Repeating high school for over fifty years had that as a result.

Right now I was sitting in the cafeteria, trying to tune out the murmur of all the different voices – not only the ones that actually spoke out loud, also those I could hear in my head, lucky me – but not entirely succeeding. I could still hear that almost every single thought of the students was about Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella Swan, whose first day at this tiny little school must be almost as bad as mine. Almost.

I didn't quite understand all the commotion. Of course Alice had seen her coming and I'd seen the girl in her thoughts, which were always strangely exciting when she thought of the human girl. Isabella was pretty, I guess, though nothing more than an average human.

And now it was lunch time, and I really had nothing else to do than to listen to the boys dream about Isabella Swan and the girls envy her for all the attention she was getting, for my family members were far too engrossed in each other to pay any attention to me.

And then she came through the door and all of the thoughts went wild.

"_Maybe she'll go out with me… I'm by far the most good-looking guy in here. Well, if you don't count the Cullens of course. I guess she'll swoon for that Edward kid first, but then she'll realize I'm much better than that depressed emo."_ Mike Newton's head was one of the places I detested and avoided most, though it could be kind of fun once in a while.

"_She's so pretty. Perfect. I wonder if…"_ The mushy ones were too tiresome to listen too.

"_Well, I wouldn't kick her out of bed… No, no, I definitely wouldn't. Just look at that body! I could show the girl a real good time…"_ Perverse, testosterone filled minds were, sadly, not hard to find in this room full of teenage boys.

Lauren's sharp mental voice sprung out too. _"She's not even remotely pretty. Her skin is so pale, almost as pale as the Cullen's, it's just not normal. And those clothes! I don't understand at all why all the boys are practically drooling over her. It's disgusting."_

I looked over my shoulder and saw her sit with Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley, who seemed to be talking to her, but she was clearly distracted. She was looking in my direction. Great, another spectator about to hear the dirt on the Cullens from gossip girl number one. Not that I cared.

Biology. The day was almost over.

Apparently the new girl was taking this class too, because all the boys were cursing whoever was sitting next to them, for that meant Isabella couldn't sit there.

I sighed. The seat beside me was available, of course, and as I looked around I saw it was in fact the _only_ available one. Now the poor girl would _have _to sit next to me.

She entered – well, stumbled into really – the classroom and went to the teacher.

And I can't even explain what happened next. I don't even know if I can recall it correctly, because it was the single most horrifying, sensational, overwhelming, earth-shattering and life altering experience of my life. In fact, my life would never be the same from that moment on. The moment that I smelled the indescribable scent of Isabella Marie Swan.

As she passed my seat, a whiff of her scent drifted toward me and my entire body went rigid for a fraction of a second before my muscles flexed and I prepared for my attack.

My nostrils flared, widened to breathe in as much of that delectable scent as I could before it was gone forever, disappeared into the monster that was me now. Gravity just shifted from that moment on, my entire being was focused on killing the fragile human girl. Annihilating the rest of the class would be an evident second move, one my predator mind didn't even think twice about. Or maybe I should kill the rest first, so I could take my time with the girl… I would have to be at least a little bit controlled when I drank of her, I had to savor the taste of the best blood in the history of man. _Slowly, just drink slowly_, I told myself.

Then the door opened again and a breeze of cool, fresh air reached me. I inhaled deeply, letting it clear my mind. Reason and rational thought returned and I balled my fists to keep from getting up and burying my teeth into the soft flesh of the girl's neck. I had to restrain myself, all these innocent humans shouldn't die because of the mouthwatering scent of one girl… And my family, Esme and Carlisle would be devastated, certainly if they knew I'd killed not just one girl, but an entire class of pupils.

Somehow I made it through the hour, probably just by trying to satisfy the monster that was constantly attempting to break free from its brittle cage by coming up with ways to kill Bella without killing an entire junior class as well.

The predator I had controlled for so long was alive and kicking…

**A/N: Leave a review if you love me (or Edward :)).**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The second real chapter is way more romantic, it's also set during Twilight, more precisely during the month after the van accident in Twilight in which Edward and Bella didn't speak to each other.**

**Burning**

**Wind and Window Flower**

Lovers, forget your love,  
And list to the love of these,  
She a window flower,  
And he a winter breeze.

When the frosty window veil  
Was melted down at noon,  
And the caged yellow bird  
Hung over her in tune,

He marked her through the pane,  
He could not help but mark,  
And only passed her by  
To come again at dark.

He was a winter wind,  
Concerned with ice and snow,  
Dead weeds and unmated birds,  
And little of love could know.

But he sighed upon the sill,  
He gave the sash a shake,  
As witness all within  
Who lay that night awake.

Perchance he half prevailed  
To win her for the flight  
From the firelit looking-glass  
And warm stove-window light.

But the flower leaned aside  
And thought of naught to say,  
And morning found the breeze  
A hundred miles away.

_Robert Frost_

Another day of torture. Another day I had to live with the feeling my throat was on fire. And another day I had to face and try to repress the overwhelming and impossible love I felt for Isabella Swan. Impossible because I couldn't even be close to her without holding back – or attempting to hold back – the monster inside me, which was constantly trying to break free of the cage I'd locked him in to prevent me of doing what almost felt natural: feeding. Letting the hot blood that pumped through her veins caress my tongue…

No. I had to stop thinking things like that.  
I would not kill Bella, I… loved her. This sentence had become almost a mantra in my head the last couple of days.  
I'd never experienced love before – not even once in my a hundred and eight years – except the love I felt for my family. But that love was absolutely nothing compared to the feelings that crashed over me when I saw Bella. She was the most important person in my world now, more important than anyone of my family, and I knew I wouldn't hesitate one second to fight one of them if they tried to hurt Bella.

My love for Bella was a blessing – I'd finally found a reason to live, a reason to keep living my meaningless immortal life – as well as a torment – no matter how much I wanted to stay with her, to protect her and hold her, I couldn't, it was too dangerous. I had to stay away from her, I had to ignore her to keep her safe, to protect her from what I am. Of course I knew my behavior was rude, I knew that it hurt her and that she was wondering what she'd done wrong.

'_You've done nothing wrong!' _I wanted to scream at her. _'It's me, Bella, love! Can't you see how madly, desperately in love I am with you?'_

Instead I just made her believe that I ignored her, though that was the exact opposite of what I was doing. I watched her every move from the corners of my eyes, I made sure she was safe and didn't hurt herself and I marveled over her beauty. Every time she walked into the room, she took my breath away; every time I looked at her I swear my dead heart swelled with love and adoration.

At first the burning thirst had been the only fire in my body, but then I had seen her beauty, the endless depth of her chocolate brown eyes; I had noticed the mystery her mind formed, I was captivated by the gravity that seemed to surround her… And now I was burning with love, passion and desire too… It felt like I should be a pile of ashes now, I'd thought the fire in my throat alone would be enough to burn my entire body, but it seemed like the other fires were even worse. They consumed everything, even the thirst I had once considered irresistible.

So you would think I would have gotten used to all those things, and yet this day was exactly the same. The red haze of jealousy blurred my sight again when I saw Bella talking to Mike Newton as she entered the classroom; my muscles tensed as her scent filled my nostrils before I carefully locked up the monster that raged inside me, and the urge to protect the fragile girl I loved so much came back, if possible even stronger than before.

I held my breath when she sat down next to me. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and I tried to control my expression, focusing on the teacher in the front of the class, making her believe she had no effect on me at all. She sighed softly and for one time I could guess her thoughts: she thought I was being rude again, that I didn't care about her, that I _regretted_ saving her… I just wished I could explain how much she meant to me.  
She let her hair hang down over her shoulder, creating a wall between us.

'_No! Let me see your face, Bella, please…'_ I was pleading with her in my thoughts, begging her to let me see her face, just once again…

Almost as if she'd heard my thoughts, as if she responded to my pleas, she flung her hair back so I could print her face in my memory, just in case…

**A/N: Please review if you have anything to say, it means so much to me!**


End file.
